Less Than Three Is In The Air

Guess what, bitches! It's official: I have a giiiiirlfriend. And no, she is not from Canada or blind. And if you can't tell already, this post is not going to be subtle or mature.

"But David," you may be thinking, "How could this be? Have you cursed any reflective surfaces with your horrid visage lately? Have you forgotten your cheesiness, your over-sensitivity, your annoyingly simplistic and up-beat view of life? And lest we forget, you mumble and smell!"

Oh ho, dear reader. All this and more is true. But I say to you:

Beer.

That's right! All it took was some Heffen to make this heifer a steed. Or at least an attractive donkey. The only downside is, I'll never know if it was the beer, the rope, the threatening faces I was making, or her heart that made her do it. Oh well. Potato potawto.

All joking and gloating aside, I'm happy like whoa. Even though all that's been "missing" for a while now was the title, it's still so nice to be able to say, "This is my girlfriend, Kasey." and "I'm sorry Leonidas! I have a girlfriend now! I can't take you to Pleasure Town anymore."

So if you see a bunch of humming birds and butterflies all heading in the same direction, you'll know where to find us.

- David

Donkeys don't give up!