Medication

Food makes me happy. If I'm in a particularly good mood or particularly looking forward to a meal I dance in my chair a tiny bit and hum a quiet song as I'm tucking in. I didn't notice until Kasey told me.

On bad days I sit at my desk, face down-turned, and focus on the soup I microwaved. I start to feel better, like the victim of a shipwreck. Something bad happened to me, but at least I have this.

I also have certain bands (and within them certain albums) that help me out. Gorillaz's self-titled album, anything by Rilo Kiley (but especially The Execution of All Things), and Mogwai, just to name the ones that pop up fastest. Rilo Kiley fixes most anything.

Bike rides are good too. You're frustrated at work because everyone but you is a moron and the To Do list you tentatively made as you got ready in the morning fell apart as soon as you stepped in the door and that damn phone began to ring. You've been sitting in the same chair, at the same desk, on the same computer all damn day. Ring ring ring.

Then you change clothes, and even though part of you complains, you look forward to pedaling home. And you do, you pedal your little broken heart out. After five minutes you swear you got rid of it all, but it carries you, through traffic, over hills and potholes, across the city, all the way to the ferry. You arrive sweaty, panting, and jello-legged. It feels like you've just attempted suicide. It feels good.

And after a quick rest and a relaxing ride across the river (hee) you're home and happy. You can still talk about your frustrations of the day, but they're chalk outlines fading fast. And the solidness you feel in your legs and the hunger in your stomach make you smile to yourself.

Safe journey.

- David