Most everybody knows I'm a vegetarian. I'm inevitably outed to any new acquaintance, because Americans love to eat and food comes up in conversation a lot more than you'd think. I hold off on revealing my abstinence from meat for as long as possible because, quite frankly, I'm sick of answering the same set of questions as to the whys and wherefores. Everyone asks, but no one cares about the answers. I don't know what they're expecting, but what I tell them apparently isn't it. Maybe they're looking for some kind of an argument, like I have a PETA membership card stashed in my wallet and have an energetic albeit misguided tirade all lined up for them.
After we get to know each other awhile they'll start to make jokes about eating meat, which I really don't mind. "Hey David, want to go get some ribs? Harhar!" "He don't eat meat but he sure likes to bone!" "VEGetarian or VAGetarian, lols!" Some guys at work joke that they'll get me eating meat by the end of the year, like I'm handicapped and they're going to impose a regime that will get me out of my wheelchair and jogging as long as I stick to it.
My favorite is when people seem offended that I'm vegetarian. One co-worker gave me this look and shook his head as if he couldn't believe it, like I'd just said I collect Nazi memorabilia or only date middle schoolers. It was as if my dietary choices were an affront to his system of beliefs. To me this is like going to a bar to pick up chicks with a co-worker and being upset to learn that he's gay. It just means more for you, buddy!
I don't know what it is lately, but meat products have been tempting, in the way that robbing a 7-11 is tempting. It's because things have been really... trying lately, and when one is depressed strange things stop mattering. Like the refusal to kill bugs. I've been meat-free for about five years now and I know that eating meat at this point would cause my digestive system to fall out on the floor. Through my ass. I'd have to start very slowly, with beef broth or something and work my way up. But when I think about it, all I see is a long line of stomach aches and time spent in the bathroom for purposes other than reading, and suddenly KFC loses it's appeal. (That is, until I smell fried chicken again. Mmm-mm!)
Sad to say, I have cheated a bit. I knowingly ate marshmallows on a couple of occasions. (Marshmallows are mostly gelatin, which is connective tissue and leftovers from slaughter houses. Yum, right!) They were pretty good, but not like, "OMG I have missed these and now have 'mallow wood!" kinda good. Just so so, and there were some digestive repercussions. This week I took a bigger step over the line and ate two full strawberry Pop-tarts. From the toaster and everything. They were mildly delicious, but I think mostly I was tasting nostalgia. And then came the pain.
Excuse my frankness, but I have been stopped up all week, and it sucks. Sucks sucks sucks. On the positive side, it is good to know that I was right about getting sick and haven't been hiding behind a false belief all this time. On the negative side, it now feels like I HAVE to be vegetarian, and that just isn't as much fun. I've passed the point of no return and even if I wanted to go back (which I don't really) it would be more of a pain than it would be worth.
At least I have Morningstar Farms, though. And pretension.
- David
I can sympathize with you and your situation. I also hold back from expressing my vegan lifestyle to delay the reactions from close-minded ignorant people. I'm more of a "closet-vegan". I usual only 'come out' when offered food and it seems unusually rude to refuse, or people notice I get a bowl of plain veg at a steakhouse. More likely, I am 'outed' by others that for some reason feel compelled to tell other people for me. There was a time when I often was introduced to new people as "_____ the vegan", even in professional settings. I found this interesting. If I where Jewish, would I be introduced as "_____the Jew"? .... Probably not.
ReplyDeleteI assume the "I'll get him to eat meat" attitude comes from their assumptions that you will attempt to convert them. This creates an imaginary contest of values that you really don't even care about, but they take very seriously. I am often told by non-vegs how obnoxious vegs are (or seem to be to them) by "always shoving their point of view in my face, trying to convert me". I have never stated my veg POV unless asked, but have often been subjected to pro-meat arguments/statements. Who is acting like the jackass, the veg (me/you) or the pro-meater?
Again, if these where religious believes, then they would be respected w/o argument.
I have been forced to live with people that would state their goal to 'trick' me into eating non-veg foods. What kind of F@#%ed up thinking is that?
It is a shame, I too have gotten bitter about answering questions because more times than not the person asking doesn't really care. I wind up giving a 1/2 ass answer. The people that don't care get the hint, but the people that do feel cheated and like I am being cold.
I too occasionally feel a prisoner to my veg-ness, but being Veg is a choice. If you choose to eat a marshmallow, so be it. I eat honey and love it. Contrary to 'Scott Pilgrim vs. the World' there is no vegan police. I just reflect back on my beliefs that lead me to veg-ness. I CHOOSE that ignorance is not bliss, and that I will not be part of the problem. Whatever floats your boat.
But I'm rambling.....
Good luck on continuing you Veg ways, and F@#k the closed-minded bigots.
BTW...there are many great veg marshmallows, no need to feel guilty eating the gelatin kind.
Your Vegan co-worker.
For real, man. It definitely becomes this assumed contest between the meaty and the meatless (or the arterially-challenged and the healthy, hurr!) even though I stopped feeling that long ago.
ReplyDeleteI can understand where they're coming from though; when people say they don't like something I love I think the natural response is to get offended. It seems strange to think of meat this way but people LOVE their meat. How many times have you heard that they'd die/kill themselves if they couldn't eat meat? I have many times. They can't understand why we don't love it, and that maybe we're judging them and their choices.
A ton of Veggies are annoying, sad but true. They do make a point of shoving their dietary choices in people's faces. Which is why I hate PETA. I get where they're coming from, but Jesus, calm down. Whenever Kasey tells people I'm vegetarian she adds, "But don't worry, he's not the annoying kind."
We were actually talking about being tricked into eating meat the other day. It would be incredibly fucked up, and it's horribly rude that people would even consider it. "Hey, I'm going to trick you into eating your pet, haha! Or maybe you're own kidney! Hilarious right?!" No, disgusting to consider.
I'm gonna find me some vegan marshmallows and chow down! And I do wish there were Vegan and Vegetarian Police, who could give people fines/kicks for falsely identifying as such or being dicks about what kind of the food they abstain from.